fetish focus: gags – safety & how-to instructions

Safety

Gags require a different kind of safety compared to other toys. While most other toys require communication, this will require more communication than most. Because the gags will cut off your partner’s ability to talk and use their safeword, you have to find other ways to communicate. Gags also tend to stretch the jaw in ways that the human body isn’t used to.

Before approaching gags, you both should sit down and talk about them. Gagging can bring a type of vulnerability that many women and men aren’t very used to. The vulnerability can scare and confuse some people, so make sure you’ve spoken in advanced about the idea of using a gag – especially a traditional gag. During your discussion, talk about an alternative safe word. I recommend having your “victim” hold some keys or hold an easy-to-squeak dog toy. If they feel like they want the play to stop or want you to check in, they can jingle or drop the keys or they can squeeze the dog toy and make it squeak. Make sure that, if your partner does use their “new” safe word, you obey it. Breaking trust by ignoring it is not the way to become a responsible player nor a responsible partner.

To avoid hurting the jaw too badly, you need to talk to your partner about what types of jaw injuries they’ve had. As a general rule, as you age, your jaw becomes less resilient to playing with the muscles of your mouth and jaw. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t discuss this with your partner. If they have jaw problems, you don’t have to avoid playing with gags – you just have to modify it a bit. However, if they don’t have any jaw problems that they know of, you can proceed with most traditional gags – you just have to be careful.

A gag should never be worn for more than twenty minutes or so if you are dealing with a beginner. The jaw muscles can fatigue very quickly, so let your partner know that. They don’t have to feel like they have to keep it in for ages for it to be fun for the both of you. As soon as it gets painful to take, they should let you know so it can be removed. As you both get more experienced with gags, you can begin to wear them for longer periods of time. Still, everything in moderation. Using gags too often could actually injure your jaw.

When it comes to using gags, there’s a couple things you should be aware of: For one, for the wearer, if they are new, it will probably hurt slightly or make your jaw feel sore. However, if it gets untolerable or spiked, it should be removed. For two, if the gag is worn long enough, it will make your jaw sore. For three, wearing a gag will cause uncontrollable drooling from most wearers. Of course, it depends on what type of gag it is, but for most traditional gags, it will cause the drooling. Let the wearer know of this before you put it on. Some people find it humiliatingly hot, and others will just find it humiliating and will want it out.

Another big point of using gags: They will impact your ability to breathe. If your “captive” is having allergies, a cold, the flu, or any problem breathing, save the gags for another day. It will make it a lot more difficult for them to breathe.

How-To

Putting a gag on a person is pretty easy depending on what type of gag it is. Of course, the most safety needs to be taken with an O-gag or the more exotic gags, but for the most part, it’s extremely easy to do.

1. Make sure you have had communication about the idea of using a gag. You should have worked out your safe word, and both of you should know exactly what it is. You should have talked about your partner’s jaw problems and if they feel sick or have a stuffy nose, you should wait for another day to attempt this.

2. Choose the type of gag you will be using. Remember to consider your partner’s preferences when deciding what gag will be used. Also consider if your partner is sore from the last time you used a gag.

3. It works best to have your submissive hold the gag in their mouth while you strap on the straps. This having been said, there’s different ways to put a gag in. Obviously, the bit gag is the easiest. Your partner just holds the bit gag in their mouth like they would any other object. The ball gag is harder. Depending on the size, it may be a little bit difficult to get the ball in. It will take a little bit of pressure, but don’t force it too much. Ball gags are supposed to sit right behind the teeth themselves, so you will have to pop the ball behind the teeth. Have your subbie sit with their mouth open and warn them they feel some pressure, but if it becomes lots of pain to let you know. Positive the ball in front of their teeth and push it back behind their teeth. If they experience pain, the ball you’ve chosen is too large. (For a beginner. Advanced users will know their limits a bit more.) An O-ring requires sliding the O-ring sideways horizontally into the mouth, and then moving it vertically so it will sit vertically right behind the teeth – keeping the mouth open.

4. From here, instruct your partner to hold the gag in their mouth. You can go behind them and pull the straps behind their head to strap the gag on. If this is a beginner, make it tight but allow yourself to be able to squeeze a finger in behind the band of the strap itself. If it doubt, ask your partner. A proper fitting gag should not be able to be squirmed out of or spit out. In the beginning, it’s okay to leave it loose though. You want your partner to feel some sense of safety with the first couple times. Otherwise, tighten it up to where they can’t. A bit gag should push back into the corners of the mouth to hold the mouth open. A ball gag’s straps should push into the corners of the mouth, and the ball should stay in the mouth. An o-ring gag’s straps should keep it tightly in the mouth too.

The biggest part of tightening the straps is just to communicate with your partner. You don’t want them to be in pain because it’s too tight. As a sidenote, I’m fully against using locking straps on gags unless you are highly experienced. A locking clasp is one that includes a little circle on the end of it so you can slide a lock into the clasp. Once locked, you can’t get the gag off without the key to the lock. While this may be erotic, it also will cause a problem if your captive beings to feel panic or fear. If you are okay with cutting the straps to your new gag, then this is fine, but for the safety of your gag, just skip the locking for now (and preferably, forever.). You want to be able to get them out as quickly as possible in case of an emergency – especially if this is still new to the both of you.

5. Have fun with the gag in. I find it amusing to ask them questions that I know they’d want to answer (“Do you want to touch me?”, etc.) and take their lack of ability to speak as a no. It’s pretty fun. If humiliation is a turn-on for them, enjoy humiliating them. (“Oh, you’re drooling. Even toddlers have learned to stop drooling.” etc.) Enjy playing with your newly-gagged partner, but please be aware of their safeword and keep an eye out for it. Gags can get tiring very quickly when you are still new to them.

6. When it’s time to come out, instruct them to hold the gag in, and undo the straps on the back. If, from there, they take it out themselves, that’s fine. If not, be careful and gently take the gag out – their jaw will be sore by now.

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